Paulo's surprise

On Saturday I cashed in my babysitting surprise.  Way back in February Paulo's teacher offered himself up for babysitting at our school auction.  Paulo loves his teacher.   I knew I had to get it for him.  I loitered around that sheet throughout the evening vying for the privilege of having my son's favorite teacher spend an evening with him one on one and I won.  Cost me $70.00 but it was worth every penny.

Paulo knew he had a babysitter coming and it was driving him nuts that I wouldn't tell him who.  He asked if he could guess and if he guessed right I'd tell him, sure...no problem, guess away!  I knew there was not a chance he would say his teacher's name and I was right, he never did.  5:00 came and he arrived, quite promptly.  I hung back in the hall with the camera and let Paulo rip open the door.  He was stunned!  He started laughing, he had the biggest smile on his face and then he promptly tried to push ME out the door!  We did the responsible parent thing and gave him the low down, left the check for the pizza and took off for our sushi dinner. 

We didn't stay out too long, we left around 5:00 and we were back a little after 8:00.  As we were driving down our hill we saw them, walking back from the park carrying a football, a soccer ball and a frisbee.  Paulo was in heaven.  He had the undivided attention of a man that matters almost as much to him as I do and frankly he wasn't ready to let go.  So his teacher ever so patiently stayed.  Paulo taught him the finer points of different Pokemon characters, he climbed all over him and we all talked.  I finally told him it was time for bed, time to say goodbye only to hear him ask his teacher to read him a bedtime story, which he did-way to make a Momma melt.  It was such a sweet moment for my baby boy and one neither of us will forget.  Paulo told me how lucky we were that we'd won his teacher for the evening and asked if we have to win him again to have him come back. 

It's not every child that can say he truly loves his teacher, it's not every teacher that is lucky enough to be adored by their students and I feel so grateful that he was Paulo's teacher this year.  I know that having this wonderful man, this positive role model, in his classroom day in and day out is one of the reasons my son loves school as much as he does and for that I am forever grateful.

7 years ago

7 years ago tonight I thought I knew it all.  7 years ago tonight I thought I was prepared.  7 years ago tonight I thought I knew what I was getting in to!

7 years ago tonight, I was wrong.

7 years ago tomorrow my life changed completely and I am forever grateful for it.

And so it begins....

I had foolishly hoped to avoid it....

I should have known I didn't stand a chance.....

It has arrived....

The obsession of a lifetime for my oldest has been passed on to my baby boy.....

Paulo bought his first Pokemon deck on Friday. 

Lord...give me patience....patience to listen to him ramble about their HP, their attacks and the weaknesses, patience to listen to the cartoons playing on the TV, patience to play with him (thankfully right now he thinks you play with the cards like you play War, this works for me!) and most of all patience to play different people, a lot of different people.

It's already started, he's various Pokemon and I'm a Pokemon trainer and we ad lib our parts, mimicking what he's seen in a Pokemon cartoon or a book. 

You see, Paulo loves to play different people.  It is a true passion, some might say obsession, of his.  He loves to take on different personalities, become animals, characters he has read about or seen in movies, we play pretend all the time.  Seriously...every single day....multiple times a day.  When I feel like my head is going to explode and I just cannot take it anymore I remind myself that someday, sooner rather than later, he won't want to play different people with me and then, then I will miss it.  To be honest I will miss it a lot.  It's a special thing between us, oh he'll ask Dad to play sometimes and Grandma gets called on to the stage from time to time but us?  We play all the time.  Yes sometimes it makes me crazy but it is so important to him I try not to shoot him down when he asks.  There are times when I have to remind him that I like to be Momma and actually have a real conversation with my son.  He's usually good about giving me that real time...then we go back to playing different people.  I have been waiting for him to outgrow it...for the last three years, he's shows no signs of slowing down.

This weekend though we got a whole new source of inspiration....Pokemon...seriously, patience, and lots of it!

Race day recap



Sunday morning was coming very early for me.  I set my alarm for 5:00 am and went to bed early Saturday night.  That never happens!  But, I wanted to be my best for my first 10K race. 

I had been warned about the energy of the group by my dear friend, SM.  How you can feel the excitement.  The nerves.  The joy.  She was right, you can, I did.  I arrived at the Convention Center by 6:30, almost a full hour before my group set out. People were milling around inside the Center, stretching, chatting, preparing.  I made a dazed loop around the vendors and decided at the last minute to buy some gloves.  I've been running with some knit pink reindeer gloves when it's cold, and it's been cold a lot!  But I forgot those gloves at home and it was really cold yesterday.  It was only 34 when I got up and by the time I got the Convention Center it was a balmy...40.  So I made a quick purchase and watched as the 1/2 marathoners filed out to start their race.  

Last few minutes to stay warm!

After some stretching and more people watching it was time for my group to head out to the lobby and outside to the starting area.  There is such a buzz of energy before the start.  People are laughing, talking, smiling, but there's also a tinge of nerves-or maybe that was just me! 

 

Waiting for the start!

Soon it was time to get serious about starting and the 10K participants flooded out into the street to line up.  I found my pace marker, 10+ minute mile, and waited, a little nervous, wondering if I could really do it, wishing that I had a runny buddy with me.  Soon enough I didn't have any more time to wonder and the countdown started, then we were off!  There was so many people crammed into such a small space that I barely felt like I could shuffle my feet let alone run!

Soon though the space opened up and we had more room to breathe and get the legs moving.  We were sent off by a drum band playing and two rows of young volunteers yelling, cheering and shaking pom poms.  I will admit that this moment actually made me very emotional.  Something about running between these two rows of young people who are likely benefiting from the services that Albertina Kerr provides and having them cheer me out of the gate on my first race....I got teary. 

Heading over the Steel Bridge

We started across the Steel Bridge into downtown Portland.  It was an absolutely beautiful morning.  While it had started out very, very cold, it was now blue skies and the sun was rising up behind us.  The city looked so peaceful and fresh! 



Heading into downtown Portland



Downtown Portland is a really beautiful place and Sunday's route took us right along the water front where we could see the evidence of Spring in the blooming trees.  At this point, I'm just buzzing along, feeling great and more than a little surprised at the fact that I-Miss I Run If Someone's Chasing Me-is actually participating in a 10K race with 980 other runners.  Totally surreal moment for me.  I never, ever thought that I would do that....ever.   I always envied runners and I secretly wanted to be a member of their super cool club, but I never thought I could and I found myself thinking...well what do you know?  Maybe I am built for this!


Beautiful Portland Sunrise



We made our way over the bridge and along the water front for a few miles.  At this point I was regretting my decision to forgo my IPOD.  I knew that there was music along the course, there was a mix of live music and DJs stationed along the route and for some reason I assumed that I'd be able to hear something most of the time.  Uh no.  Not so.  Basically there was music every mile or so but in between was just me, myself and I.  After a short while of kicking myself for my lack of Black Eyed Peas I actually started to enjoy the silence.  I was able to hear the other runners and have that motivate me plus able to really hear my own breathing and the sounds of my feet hitting the pavement, it was rather...zen.  While I love my IPOD and my running playlist I think I will revisit the silent zen running. 

The climb up to Barbur Blvd.

Almost half way through I found myself facing the first sizable hill.  It was by no means a monster hill but after running a while I could feel the extra effort it took to get up the incline.  What kept me going was the knowledge that at the top I would find a water station and a decline!  

Yea for declines!

I finally spied a mile marker on my down hill journey and was thrilled to see I was about 1/2 way done and still feeling great.  I had not yet needed a walking break, or a potty break, and I felt that I was making good time.  I was enjoying the experience of running with 100's of other people through my city.  I drive these streets so frequently but when you're running on them you see things differently, you see things you hadn't noticed before and you can really appreciate the views our city has to offer.  I grew up here but on Sunday, I saw things differently than ever before.

Almost home!

Mile marker five and the euphoria kicked in!  I realized that I was roughly 11 minutes away from finishing my first 10K and I had still not needed a break!  I had goals for Sunday's race.  One of those was to finish in under 65 minutes.  Another, unspoken, goal was to run the whole thing.  I knew at this moment I could make that goal if I made it up the last big hill back onto the Steel Bridge.  This was also the moment when I started getting passed by the 1/2 marathon runners that left 20 minutes before my group and ran twice the distance!  I was in awe of these athletes as they cruised right on past me on that home stretch.  There were some amazing runners out on Sunday.



Tired and happy runners!

When it was all said and done I wandered back into the Convention Center for some snacks and to have my finisher's picture taken.  They had a great spread of fruits, granola, lara bars (my fav!) and bagels-which did not appeal at all.  I sat for a few moments to eat and watch the other runners.  I saw one of the 1/2 marathon runners that blew past me holding her baby who looked to be about 10 months old....again, awe!  After that it was time to wrap things up and get back to reality.  Groceries needed to be purchased, bread needed to be baked, life needed to be attended to.  I went about my day on Sunday with a permanent smile on my face, not a huge grin, just a small smile.  I proudly wore my race shirt to New Seasons.  When the checker asked if I was doing anything special that afternoon I told her I'd done something special that morning and ran a 10K.  I was proud of myself, I still am, and I'm already looking forward to the next race!

Goals

This is it!  The big day is here, the day I've logged over 100 miles in preparation for.  My first ever 10K race. 

I have two goals for this morning:

1. Finish.  Seriously, just finish the race.
2. Finish in under 65 minutes, looking at my pace this should be doable, I'm just not 100% sure how the course looks, i.e., how many hills will I be taking on?

I'm excited and a little nervous.  I was more nervous last night though, nervous that I would oversleep, turn off my alarm, miss the race entirely.  Rene set his alarm for 5 too just as back up, they went off at the same time....it was loud....but I got up. 

It's a chilly morning, my thermometer says 34, I'm already looking forward to the 10K I signed up for in May where I doubt I will have to layer up quite so much!

I'm off, send me good thoughts at 7:30 Pacific time!

Success!

We've been working hard....

My boy has been really focused!



And all that hard work finally paid off!

When the last piece of the puzzle was put into place!

I love jigsaw puzzles. 

We've tried starting them before as a family....

he wasn't ready.

But this time....

He got it.

He understood.

And he was victorious!

He's already on the hunt for our next puzzle!

The voices in my head

I took on a challenge last January when I signed up for my first ever race.  I initially thought I'd do the 5K, play it safe, I knew I could finish 3.1 miles.  But after some loving prodding from a very good friend I took the plunge and signed up for the 10K and, in an effort to not embarrass myself, I started training.

The race is called Race for the Roses and it is a benefit for Albertina Kerr Center which helps foster kids, among other things.  This is a noble thing I think, to support children in a time of great upheaval and unimaginable stress.  This is what attracted me to this particular race.  I wanted my first race to have some personal meaning, figured it would help me as I plod along the course for 6.2 miles. The truth is I would love to be a foster family, I would love to shelter a child through a storm, it just isn't feasible at this point in my life.  So since I can't be a foster Mom I can raise some funds, right?  Right!

I joined a wonderful site to help me track my training, The Daily Mile, and I started running.  So far since I started in January I have run 73 miles.  That's pretty freaking awesome for a woman who used to say "I run...if someone is chasing me" and mean it.  I used to look at runners and think, "man I wish I could...but I just can't do that!  I guess I just wasn't built to be a runner."  I remember trying it in high school, I ran up and down the hill by my house....once...and promptly quit.  The shin splints the next day were brutal!  I tried again in college, I went to the track with a theater buddy....once....again the pain the next day was enough to send me running back to my couch.  Honestly I was not a healthy teen or college student.  My idea of breakfast was a diet coke and a granola bar or a bagel slathered with cream cheese.  I shudder when I think of all the crap I consumed and consider it a total miracle I made it through, hopefully, unscathed.  If I knew then....yeah, hind sight is always 20/20.  Looking back at my diet and exercise-and I use that word loosely-routine it is no wonder I was not successful when I started to run but the thing that makes me sad is how easy 15 year old me gave up and again how easy 21 year old me quit.  A little pain and I was out!  The truth is I didn't really believe I could do it.  I had no faith in my legs to carry me or my heart to beat strong enough for me to cover a single mile let alone the 6.2 I face in a little over a week.

That lack of faith is something I've struggled with all my life.  I didn't come from "athletic stock" my parents never pushed me to stay active the way I push (by push I mean encourage) my own boys.  I was on the basketball team in grade school, I believe I scored a basket...once.  In high school I was on the dance team and that was my only sports experience in high school.  I loved dance team but it was more social than athletic for me.  We competed but as a team, if we won it was because we all did well, it was not because I was the best at anything.  While I have very fond memories of my dance team days it was not a competitive thing for me.  I simply was not raised to get out there and fight for the ball, or kick harder, score the goal or win the race.  I wish I had been if I'm honest, I wish my parents had been more active and encouraged us to be, but they weren't and that message was ingrained in me from an early age-sports were...meh...who cares? 

As a mother now I know I care.  I care not only about my children being active in sports but I care about me being active.  It makes me a better mother, it makes me a better woman, it keeps me sane.  But still I hear the whisper of my childhood, the self doubt. 

What if you can't finish?  It whispers. 

What if you're last??  It snickers. 

Why can't you run as gracefully as that girl over there???  It goads. 

Oh seriously, I tell that voice, shut the F up!  Aye those voices, those voices, those voices...those voices can just kiss my butt.  Seriously, when do they stop?  Will I be plagued with doubt forever?  If it isn't running it's parenting, if it isn't parenting it's my hair, my nails, the size of my tush or my...whatever.  When does it end?  It ends now.

I think that's one of the other reasons I am doing this race.  I need to have that moment of finishing something I seriously never thought I could do.  I never thought I could run 6.2 miles but last weekend I ran 5.3, and I ran it all.  I was sore as heck the next day but did I quit?  No, I went to the gym for my weights and stretching training day.  I will not quit.  I also want my son to see me finish this, he's amazing, he doesn't get as discouraged as I do, he's hard on himself-sometimes harder than I think he should be-but that boy is determined and that will take him far in life.  I want him to look at me and be proud of me for setting a goal, training for it (I really did not want to make a fool of myself!) and seeing it through.  I want him to look at me and know that it is important to keep moving, to be active, to compete.  Even if you're only really competing against yourself.  He asked me what if I didn't win, I had to explain to him that at this point just finishing the race will be a win for me, it will set my time to beat for the next race and that is enough for me.  Between you and me if by some miracle the adrenaline kicks in and I did finish first I would probably celebrate it much like he did when he won Run for the Arts! 

So next weekend, on April 3rd, around 7:35 am think of me and send me good thoughts as I start my race and silence those voices.  I will not quit.

Tea tales

I've been saving the tags from my Yogi Detox tea the last couple days, they're quite profound and thought provoking.  I have some good ones, here's the first:

Bliss is a constant state of mind, undisturbed by gain or loss.

Sounds lovely doesn't it?  To be able to maintain your bliss regardless of the chaos that goes on around you.  To be able to maintain it in the face of the great tragedy that is unfolding across the sea in Japan.  To be able to maintain it in the face of the little irritations, the loss of keys, the gaining of pounds.  That is something I strive for.  To shore up my bliss reserves so that the ebb and flow of life does not drag me down in its current of negativity.

More tea tales to follow.....

The best day ever!

I had a visitor last weekend.  It was by far the most relaxing at home weekend that I can remember in a long, long time. 

My dear friend, SM, came to visit me from the land of sun and surf-Southern California.  I had the pleasure of showing off my beautiful city.  We started off our Saturday with a run-see she's a triathlete and she knows I'm dipping my toe into the running waters and contemplating a 5K-and then a 10K in May-so we headed off bright and early Saturday morning and ran a little over 2.5 miles.  2.5 miles of hills mind you, not flat, not easy, a lot of hills where I live.  After a quick breakfast-omelets with farm fresh eggs that a customer had delivered to us at work the previous day-and quick showers we were off on our day long adventure.

Starting off our day was a trip to Powell's.  Oh Powell's you beautiful, beautiful place.  There is just nothing like that moment when you first open the door to Powell's, the scent of books waft over you and the buzz of activity that greets you.  I just love Powell's.  Powell's represents all that was important to me in high school.  I spent hours there-some of those hours when I should have been in school-wandering the aisles, fondling books.  I love Powell's and I was so happy to share the experience with my friend, who is also an avid reader, I knew she would get it.

After Powell's we headed off to Hawthorne for lunch and some window shopping.  Another favorite part of town for me but not one I get to indulge often.  See for one parking is a nightmare, seriously we scored a spot but I was nervous for a bit.  But the bigger problem is my busy britches boy, he would want to touch everything and I would end up freaking out that he was going to break something or annoy someone.  But we were KIDLESS!!  We lingered over lunch talking about anything and everything.  We wandered up and down the street ducking into shops here and there at will.  We explored some cute vintage shops, some eco friendly decor stores and some really sweet clothing shops.  What I loved though was the ease, it was so easy.  We could wander into a store and I never felt like we had to keep in constant contact.  We could peruse things at our own leisure then meet back in the middle.  The conversation flowed naturally, nothing forced, no awkward pauses.  It's like we've been hanging out together all our lives but in reality this is a relationship nurtured mostly via email, text and the occasional quick phone call. 

We capped off our day with a visit to Ashiyu Foot Spas in Sellwood for a foot soak and reflexology treatments before heading off for some vege Thai food down the street. 

Oooooooh, I feel relaxed right now just thinking about our day.  I wish every weekend, or at least every other weekend, could be so relaxing and recharging.  That's how I felt when I drove home Saturday, recharged.  Refreshed.  Renewed.  It was the....best.....day......ever. 

Thank you my dear friend for coming to visit me, I cannot wait for our next adventure!

Happy New Year!

It's after 9:00 in the morning and I'm the only one awake.  We all stayed up til the ball dropped last night to welcome in 2011 as a family. 

Momma's little party animal

It was, by far, my most favorite New Year's Eve that I can remember.  And it was the simplest.  What was so wonderful though was the fact that it was just me and my boys.  We didn't do anything fabulous, we were just together, the four of us.  I was thinking yesterday that how you spend New Years Eve can really set the tone for the coming year.  I wanted to set a positive tone, a healthy tone, a family tone because I really want to focus on my family this year.  Not that I don't normally, but it's different, it's not just about feeding, housing and clothing them, it's not about meeting their physical needs or even just their individual emotional needs, I really want to nurture our connection.  I want to find ways to inject more fun in our day to day.  I want to seek out opportunities to bond with both of my sons as well as my husband-all of us together at the same time.  That might seem like such a simple concept but it's actually difficult when you have the family make up that we have.  The boys are separated by 8.5 years and Dimitri is only with us 1/2 the time, so it's easy to slip into a divide and conquer approach to the weekends and the fun stuff.  Rene and Dimitri do one, teenage appropriate, thing while Paulo and I go off on a separate, kid friendly, adventure.  That's something I really want to work on this year.  Don't get me wrong I love to see Rene spending time with Dimitri one on one, but I also know that it's really important for the four of us to be together.  Last night showed me that loud and clear.

Cheers from the Rodriguez Family

It was such a simple night.  We watched the special edition of Avatar we gave Dimitri for Christmas, plus all the deleted scenes-yeah it was about 4 hours of Avatar-then when it got close to midnight we switched on Dick Clark and the good old Rockin' Eve show and waited. 

Torture time!

To kill time, Dimitri tortured his brother a little.  That always helps pass the time you know?  I always enjoy seeing them play together, despite the fact that inevitably the noise level in the house skyrockets!

Love

We played a little Uno and had some fruit and cheese while we waited for the big moment to arrive.  Paulo screamed out the countdown (in typical Paulo fashion) and then he yelled and screamed and celebrated the new year by beating his chest like Tarzan!  Oh yes, he's a zesty one!  It was, all in all, a perfect end to 2010 and believe me, I'm happy to say goodbye to 2010.

Last year was hectic.  It was stressful.  It was far too fast paced for my taste.  This year, I need this year to be different.  I know I cannot keep running at that frantic pace for much longer, I know deep in my heart, that I just can't.  I know I need to regroup, circle the wagons so to speak, and come back to what really matters and that is those three sleeping boys upstairs-my family. 

If I want them to be kind, I must show them kindness. 

If I want them to be patient, I must show them patience. 

If I want them to be loving, I must show them I love them every single day. 

I want them to be able to come home and escape from that frantic energy that fills our world and really feel like they can recharge, that home is a safe haven from the stress of life, not that it adds to their stress.  I want them to know that they are loved and special and welcome in both heart and home to be themselves.  I want this year to be different, for all of us.  Happy New Year to all my wonderful friends and family, may 2011 bring you joy, peace and love because really that is all that matters.

The most wonderful proud feeling

This is how my son described himself to me moments ago on the phone.  Why was he so proud?  He finished his second chapter book.

I ask my kids to read daily when school is out, I think their little brains need the exercise.  He finished the first book last week and called me to share his happiness that day, he just couldn't wait to tell me until I picked him up.  I loved that.

He picked out a new book Monday morning, read that day at his Grandma's, yesterday was a busy day so he didn't spend any time with his book.  But today when I dropped him off we agreed that he would spend time with his book this morning since he has a play date this afternoon. 

He just called me a few minutes ago to tell me he finished that book too!  Now, these are not huge books, nor should they be for a beginning reader.  The first was a Werewolf Club book and the second a Junie B Jones book, but both are around 80 pages, and he finished them!  He's so proud of himself and I am just as proud of him. 

What I really love though is how excited he is to share his accomplishments with me.  He's proud of himself.  He worked hard, he finished the task, he feels pride.  He's connecting those three things early which I hope will take him far, not only in school but also in life.

Changing perspectives

This has been an...unusual holiday season.  It's sort of snuck up on me.  Thanksgiving caught me by surprise and I found myself at the grocery store the day before picking up things I'd forgotten, that never happens-me and crowds do not get a long. 

My company holiday party, which I host, sort of did the same.  Very last minute on a lot of things, barely got the food ordered, was shopping for it day before-had to take the morning off work to do that.

Christmas was much the same.  I barely got our Christmas cards out! I was wrapping literally the day before.  Heck, I still shopping the week of! 

Despite all of that, it's actually been a very enjoyable holiday.  It's been hectic at times and I have had to cut a few things loose that I just could not do this year.

I normally bake goodies and send fudge to my dear friends that live out of state....didn't happen.

Paulo usually has hand made crafts for his loved ones, little treasures for the Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents.....didn't happen.

I like to make my packages pretty with bows....didn't happen.

But, what did happen, was some lovely, quiet, one on one time with my son.  We went to a holiday concert last week and we went to see The Christmas Story on stage Thursday night.  We did make fudge and gluten free gingerbread men.  We did watch our beloved holiday classics.  And, we read A Christmas Carol this month.  Bit by bit, chapter by chapter, every night.  To be honest, I've never read A Christmas Carol before, I've seen the Mickey Mouse version many times and I've seen it on stage at my old college....many, many times, but I'd never read the book.  I've owned it since Dimitri was Paulo's age, but it sat on my bookshelf, waiting for my son. 

What also happened was a truly special Christmas Day.  We have stayed home today, just me, my husband and our son-sadly we are missing Dimitri who spends this holiday with his Mother.  We had friends over for lunch.  Paulo played for HOURS with his friend from next door.  And then we capped it off with a fancy, Momma made, steak tenderloin dinner with rosemary mushroom gravy, smashed red potatoes and carrots with freshly baked gluten free bread.  It's good bread, really good bread.  Now we're heading over to a dear friend's house for dessert.

Yesterday we spent time with Rene's family.  Tomorrow we will see my sister and the rest of my family.  Today, today belongs to us.  And it has been delightful.

Holiday traditions-the fudge edition

Every year Paulo and I make fudge.  We do this for many reasons, the first being that we both really love chocolate, he inherited my sweet tooth!  The other, equally important, reason is to remember my Mom. 

My Mother was a compulsive baker.  Every year come Christmas time our house would be filled with the sweet smells of sugar, chocolate and flour.  I have fond memories of my Dad sitting at the kitchen table with the big bowl in one hand and a spoon in the other getting all the last tid bits of fudge from the bowl-we don't want to waste fudge now do we?!  All of her treats were great but her fudge was special.  It signified Christmas to me.  She died in June 2006.  Come Christmas time I was found myself standing in the kitchen pondering the fudge, who would make the fudge this year??  I did.  I started looking up recipes, I didn't know which one she used because, sadly, she had never involved me in the making of the Christmas goodies.  To be fair, I probably never asked her to either!  I found an easy recipe and started mixing and heating and stirring and tasting.  All the while with my sous chef, Paulo, at my side. 



Baking 2008.  He looks so little!

I bring Paulo into the kitchen for a variety of reasons, one being I really like the little dude so it's one more fun way for us to spend time together, but also because I want him to remember cooking and baking with me and I want him to know how to do it himself if the need ever arises.   
Christmas is fast approaching and this year his allergies have thrown a little monkey wrench into the mix.  The fudge I typically make is full of milk and marshmallow fluff uses eggs, two of the foods on the naughty list for Mr. P.  I, of course, turned to the internet and started researching vegan fudge recipes.  I found a total winner, this recipe is as easy, or easier, than my normal recipe and only uses coconut milk, vegan margarine, chocolate chips, confectioners sugar and vanilla.  I will post details and the recipe as soon as I get a good picture.  In the meantime, Paulo (and I) really enjoyed the end result!



Happy boy with a chocolate face!

 Next up is gluten free gingerbread men and chocolate peppermint cupcakes!  It's such a busy time of year, it's good for us to stop and lick the bowl from time to time, brings us back to what's important, family and making memories.

Holiday Traditions

I love traditions.  I love the consistency, the routine, the planning and expectation and the comfort that it all provides.

One of the newer traditions that we began last year was visits from the Christmas Elf.  Paulo hung up my very old stocking from when I was a wee babe and waited.  Waited to see what little trinkets and treats he might receive. 

This year we hung the stocking last night and today he sprang out of bed to see what that little rascal had left for him.

I love to see the joy on his face when he pulls the gift from the stocking.  I love how happy he is to be drinking his juice out of his new candy cane silly straw cup.  I love my baby boy.  Having children make the holidays so much more fun.

What is your favorite holiday tradition?  Did you start new ones with your family or carry on the ones from your own childhood?  I will be sharing more of our traditions in the coming weeks.  It helps me to refocus on what matters most during this often hectic time of year: my family.

So proud!

Today was Paulo's Run for the Arts at school.  He was a rock star!

Our little school does not actually have a track.  So the fabulous Moms and Dads in charge of RFTA set up a loop in the parking lot.  You had to run the loop 4 times to equal 1/4 of a mile.  My son ran the loop 36 times!  Doing the math he ran 2.25 miles today in 30 minutes! 

He was completely exhausted when it was all said and done and actually very emotional about the whole thing.  There was a moment 1/2 way through that he really wanted to quit.  He had a stitch in his side, he was having a hard time catching his breath, he was "done" he said.  I tried to talk him through getting some deeper breaths, I offered to walk with him while he caught his breath, rubbed his tummy, encouraged him and after a couple minutes the switch flipped and I could see this determined look come over him and he set off running again.  And he ran.  And he ran.  And he ran.  All the while I cheered and cheered for him!  I was so proud of how he never gave up.  It was hard.  He knew it was hard.  He wanted to quit.  He didn't.  That to me is the greatest lesson he could learn from this experience.  Life's hard, you might want to quit, but don't.  Don't quit.  Believe in yourself and finish what you start.  And finish strong he did, he ran all the way through the countdown of 5....4....3....2...1! 

After it was done I got him a drink and some orange slices and told him how proud of him I was.  He, being the critic that he is, was disappointed that he didn't run the most laps of all.  But I introduced him to the idea of a PR-personal record.  This was his PR and next year, next year he can work on beating his PR.  It's not about beating all the kids in school, it's about doing your very best every time.  It's about always giving everything you got and he definitely did that today.  He gave it all he had and he did amazing!  I couldn't be prouder to be his Mother.

The first day, in pictures

Big stretch!  It's hard work to eat a plateful of pancakes!

Last minute checks to be sure he has everything he needs.

Nervous?  Nah Mom, I got this, school is no problem!

Getting his first assignment from his teacher, Mike.

Our first day of school self portrait.

Already hard at work, hardly even knows I'm gone!

Why is there ink on my face?  I don't know...

The big, soulful, eyes of my 1st grade boy!

Back in the saddle again....

The start of Paulo's school year was delayed by two weeks due to a snafu in our new building-namely the renovation was not done!  The administration has been scrambling for the past month, once it became clear to the new building owner that he would not be prepared for us, to find a new facility.  We finally found one last week that would house all of our K-8 classes and was "E occupancy" which basically translates to the school won't collapse and crush our babies in the event of an earthquake.  The extended summer vacation has been both a blessing and a curse, it was hard for me to get back into the Fall swing of things when only one of my kids was going to school.  I think it was hard on Paulo as well, he enjoys school and missed his friends.

Finally, today was my baby's first day of 1st grade!  Hallelujah!!  I laughed as we walked in at the grins on all the faces of the parents.  This two week delay has been really tough on some families, fortunately I was able to take some time off and I have my mother in law as my back up, so it wasn't a strain on me.  But for those traditional two income families, it's been tough.  We were a giddy group of Moms and Dads today!  The kids seemed happy (and nervous) but us parents?  We were ecstatic! 

I deposited Paulo to his classroom, a 1st/2nd grade blend taught by his favorite teacher, Mr. Mike, this morning.  He quickly found his cubby to stuff his backpack into and got started on his first assignment, to write and/or draw about something you did during the summer.  After a couple last pictures and a begrudgingly small kiss good bye I left the room...and stole a couple more pictures after that.  I stood there for a moment though marveling at how he jumps right into new experiences, I hope he never loses that enviable personality trait. 

Now I'm just sitting here.....waiting....wishing that time would speed up so I can pick him up at 2:45 and hear all about his first day of first grade!

Friendships

I envy Paulo's ability to enter a group of people and instantly make friends.  I saw it last week during his first soccer practice.  A lot of the kids, and Moms, knew each other.  But did that intimidate my son?  Not in the least.  He went right in and acted as if he'd known them for years.  As we were leaving the park he starts yelling "BYE IAN!  My name is PAULO!"  I had to shush him a little since the park is right next to apartments and I felt bad about my kid yelling a top of his lungs to his team mate.  But I loved how happy he was to make a new friend and how he wanted to be sure that friend knew his name.

Again yesterday I saw it.  Paulo and I were shuttle drivers for Dimitri and three of his soccer team mates to a game across town.  The game was at an elementary school-score for a playground!  There was a little girl there who had a brother on the opposite team.  Those two played the entire 90 minute game together.  Just laughing, talking, chasing, playing as if they had known each other their whole lives. 

He has the gift of easy friendships.  I think that's true for a lot of children though.  As we age we start to get self conscious about striking up conversations, at least I do.  I spent last week's soccer practice in silence.  There were two clumps of Moms chatting but I didn't know them and didn't feel as confident in my abilities to make new friends as my son.  So I stayed quiet and watched practice.  I'm sure as the season goes on I will start to chat but I don't see any deep meaningful friendships coming out of the group.

This is why I'm grateful for the friendships I do have though.  We had the pleasure of lunching with two dear, dear friends that we have not seen in a long time last Sunday.  It was as if no time had passed.  There was not a moment of awkwardness, the conversation flowed, the hugs were tight, the laughter in abundant supply.  I think as we age we get fewer, but higher quality, friendships.  And they are really so important.  They enrich our lives in ways work and family simply cannot.  We need to nurture them though and, I suppose, we need to remain open to new people coming into our lives even people we meet watching soccer practice of a group of rowdy 1st grade boys.

21 day challenge

There is a blog I frequent for raw food ideas.  The author, Susan, is starting a 21 day challenge.  The idea being that you get to step into October recharged and ready for the coming Winter months. 

I'm joining her challenge.  Despite the name of the site, Rawmazing she does not stipulate that you need to go 100% raw, I personally am going for 100% raw breakfast, lunch and snacks with light dinners.  The idea is that you spend a few minutes thinking about what changes you'd like to make, what habits you need to engrain, where will you get the most return for your time investment and commit to practicing those habits daily during the challenge.

If you want to join the fun click and read about it, come on, what do you have to lose?  Nothing.  What do you have to gain?  A whole new level of peace.

Self care

I went to the gym every single day this week.  Either before or after work, mostly before.  I really prefer before, I love going to work knowing I'm done, once work is over I can go straight home, Paulo can play with his buddies, I can start dinner, no rushing.  Some weeks do not work out so well for me and my gym time.  This week was marvelous though.  The stars and moon aligned just right so I could fit in exercise every single day.  I'm sore, but my mind is happy. 

My other weapon this week was a nightly cup of....tea.  Sleepy time tea.  My mother in law bought me the cutest little teapot for my birthday.  It comes with its own cup, it makes drinking tea a fancy affair-but not too fancy. 

Extra sleep has helped me too.  And, since I had my braces adjusted on Wednesday and can't eat much, I've been drinking a lot of green smoothies.  I notice a substantial boost to my mood and sense of peace when I go raw 80% of the time.  I'm not 100% raw, I'm still eating cooked foods at dinner, and today I will probably have miso soup at lunch, but breakfast and lunch have been predominantly raw all week and I know my brain and body benefited from it.

This has been a good week for self care.  It has taken substantial effort but it was well worth it.  Now, if only the stars and moon continue to align right next week and the next week and the week after that!