Big fat D

D is for deficient, that's what I am...deficient...in vitamin D.  I had some blood work done as part of my check up recently and it came back that I was low on iron-not a big shock since I don't eat meat.  Today I got the second half of my labs and it turns out I'm also low on D.  I was low on D before, I take 2000 IUs of D a day, apparently that's not enough to combat the lack of sunshine in the great Pacific NW.  

One of the reasons I wanted my blood work checked was my frightening lapses in memory.  I'm 36 years old, and frankly I just don't think I should look at my friend/fellow 1st grade Momma and forget her son's name and that's what happened not long ago.  I stood there staring at this woman, trying to reach deep into the recesses of my apparently deficient brain, to pull her son's name out.  Now, her son has been a classmate of Paulo's for nearly two years.  I should be able to remember it!  But I couldn't!  And that, that freaks me out.  You see, I have a family history of early menopause and memory trouble was one of the first things my sister noticed, around my age.  Couple that with our Mother's dementia and you get a worried woman. 

Hopefully with a few small tweaks to my vitamin/supplement routine, which is already rather large, I can start to feel an improvement.  Being low in both of those can result in fatigue, depression, foggy thinking and the like.  All things I struggle with and things I want to see go away.  Often I wake up feeling tired, oh I can power through my day, but it doesn't feel good.  I don't enjoy it.  I can still run-which helps boost my energy-but some days it's a struggle to talk myself into my shoes.  For now, I've started on a low(ish) dose of iron, working up to slightly higher and 10000 IUs of vitamin D a day.  That's 5x that I was taking! 

So, here's hoping that I can sweep the cobwebs out of my brain and get some vitality back. 

Lead me not into temptation....

I stopped by the office this morning when I took Paulo to school and was greeted by a lovely woman holding out a plate of....brownies.

I'm still in the thick of my cleanse.  I declined. 

What struck me though was that they didn't even look all that appealing-no offense to the baker.  But when I looked at them I actually a negative reaction. 

This is new.  This would not normally happen.  I looooove sugar.  Sugar and me we go way back, I used to put margarine on a spoon and dip it into the sugar bowl.  I would eat my Halloween candy in days, not weeks, not months, days.  Nerds.  Gummy worms.  Lick-m-aid.  Chocolate.  Snickers.  I loved candy.  Candy however does not love me back.  Candy makes me a bit crazy.  Whacky even.  It's not pretty.  I know it won't make me feel good but still sometimes I find it hard *read impossible* to resist the little temptress.  But today, today I stayed strong and held my ground and politely declined the brownie. 

That's a big thing.  For me.

To break a fast and other things I've learned

Sunday's dinner

My first ever juice fast ended Sunday night when I peeled and ate a banana around 5:30.  It was a very interesting experience.  I can fully understand now why fasting figures so prominently in many religious rituals.  When you are not spending time consuming solid food it really does free up some time to think about who you are and where you are and if you're really where you need to be.

I feel like I learned quite a bit last weekend. 

• I learned that I spend a lot of time in the kitchen regardless of what I'm eating, or not!  I still had a family to feed this weekend, while it might have been a lovely experience to have a whole weekend to myself...might? who I am kidding, it would have been!...that just was not my reality.  I still prepared breakfast, lunch and dinner for my husband and children.  But I did find that by my not eating the food it freed up time for me to clean while they were eating so I was able to get out a wee bit faster.
• I learned to take my time with drinking my juice and to drink it from a pretty glass.  I have inherited my parents old purple fancy glasses, I think they might be brandy glasses, but I'm not sure.  I know my Dad has told me that they would sit after all of us kids went to bed and have a drink with those glasses.  That is what I used this weekend, my Momma and Daddy's fancy purple glass. 
• I learned I really can survive two days without solid food. 
• I learned that I feel great on a juice fast.  Seriously great!  With the exception of a stressful moment Sunday morning when my kids wouldn't stop bickering I felt calm and peaceful all weekend.  Even when life threw a curve ball Saturday night I didn't flinch.  Paulo mysteriously spiked a fever Saturday evening as we were getting ready to go to his school talent show and spaghetti dinner fundraiser.  So instead of going to have fun with his school we stayed home.  He was super bummed, he planned on performing in the talent show, but there was just no way to go.  By Sunday he was nearly back to his old self and today he's back in school like nothing happened, very odd.  In the past I have not reacted well to late minute changes of plans but Saturday, no big, baby's sick, stay home, make some spaghetti for the boys myself.  Easy.  It should always be that easy, but it isn't.
• I learned a little first hand about cleansing reactions.  I've heard about reactions like skin break outs, aches and pains, colds and flues when doing a cleanse.  I also learned that they're not that bad and I can just push through them and when I clear the woods I will feel awesome.
• I learned that when I'm fasting and taking control of my health I have the courage to address some things that fester beneath the surface with the people in my life and I learned that when I address them....nothing bad happens.  That's a big one for me, I grew up in a WW3 environment, every little conflict would dissolve into screaming, yelling, threats to move I've really struggled with overcoming that ingrained fear.  
• I learned that I really liked this and I plan to do it again in a couple of months.  While weight loss was not my #1 priority I will admit it's nice to feel my pants a little looser today.  But more importantly I feel vibrant.  I feel alive.  I feel good, despite my little cold, and I know that this is an important piece to my health puzzle and one I will incorporate on a regular basis.

Now, back to dinner, I fixed myself a large salad and topped it with a spicy cashew cream from Susan's Rawmazing website and followed that with a plate of steamed butternut squash, asparagus and a baked yam.  It was delicious.  I will admit that by mid afternoon Sunday I was really ready to eat something!  While I hadn't really felt deprived or even all that hungry during the process I missed chewing food.  I love my veggies juiced but I prefer to crunch them!

I am still in the middle of my cleanse and I look forward to this week of getting back to working out, I had some aches and pains and low energy last week, and getting into the sauna to further help my body along it's cleansing path.  It's been great so far, I can't wait to see how I feel by the end of the week!

Day 6-Cleanse

Health, what is it?  What does it mean to you?  My health, my family's health, it means so much more to me that the mere absence of disease.  It means feeling vibrant, feeling alive, glowing.  But how to get there and stay there?

I felt like I finally turned the corner Thursday, by Wednesday I was feeling more like myself but still very very tired, but Thursday and Friday were much better days-energy wise.  Mentally I feel calm, which if you could see inside my head on a normal week you'd know is a marked change.  Physically I'm doing fine, I'm not pushing myself much to exercise this week, trying to listen to my body in that department, I definitely want to fit in some yoga this weekend before getting back to regular running next week.

Today is Saturday, the start of what I had designated my juice fast.  I've never done a juice fast before so I'm not 100% sure how my body will respond but so far...so good.  I've been up for a while now, Paulo has a small cold and his throat and stuffy nose woke him at 5:45 so he was kind enough to wake me.  Fortunately for all of us I had listened to my body and gone to bed early last night.  We managed to sneak in an extra hour of snuggle time but by 6:45 he was ready to go downstairs.  Now, after a typical Rodriguez Friday night this would have totally set me off.  Normally there's the pre dinner drink(s) and normally I stay up late trying to catch up on junk that we've DVR'd during the week.  Today, when my baby needed me, I was ready and willing to take care of him and I'm grateful for that. 

All in all I'm feeling very good about my food based cleanse, my Spring cleaning of sorts.  I have another week to go but I'm not at all worried about that, I know I will feel great when it's all said and done.  The process is not only a physical cleansing but a mental one as well and there have been some issues that have come up that I feel ready to face and that too is a very good thing.

Day 3

I'm three days into my Spring Cleanse and I must say....it's a hell of a lot easier than last Spring!  I credit that to the fact that I have been living **mostly** clean all year.  That said, I do feel like Spring is a great time to really evaluate the diet and take on a cleanse if you're so inclined.  I know from last time that I felt great when I was done.  I had a lot more energy and felt more clear headed.  Did all my new found good habits last?  No, the coffee slipped back in, the extra drinks here and there came back along with the accompanying sugar monster episodes.  But I remember how great I felt when I was done.  I felt accomplished, peaceful, calm and it was all accomplished through food and I want to feel that again.  Food influences my mood.  This year I'm changing it up a bit.

This Spring my cleanse period is two weeks down from last year's three, two days of that will be dedicated juice fasts, this weekend in fact.  I've never done a juice fast but I'm really looking forward to it.  I'm forgoing coffee, sugar, wheat, dairy, soy and alcohol.  I'm eating TONS of fresh produce, grains like quinoa, rice and millet, I'm eating beans and occasionally fish and eggs.  I'm drinking what feels like gallons of water and herbal teas and drinking green juice daily.  Already I feel better.  I will say though I'm missing my caffeine.  Without any java I'm fighting to stay awake past 8:00!  I know my body will re adapt, I just need to get over the shock of the first few days.  I have had tiny twinges of withdrawal headaches but nothing to get too worked up about. 

To be honest, sometimes I wish I could just eat whatever I want and ignore the consequences but the bottom line is I like the way I feel when I eat clean.  I'm calmer, I'm happier, I'm more at peace and feel more patient.  I just wish it wasn't so much darn work sometimes!  It's easy to grab a bag of chips and nosh away it takes time and effort to make sure I have my fruit washed and cut up for the day, but darn it, I'm worth it and that's what I need to remind myself of again and again and again.