It's hard. It's really hard. Keeping the lines of communication open in a relationship is scary. You're making yourself vulnerable to another human being when you say "hey, this is what I need from you." You're risking the possibility that the answer will be "sorry, I can't, or won't, do that". It's scary.
We've been married for over 8 years, together for 10. There have been bumps and bruises along the way, as all long term relationships experience. I can't help feeling that it should be easier by now to start those difficult conversations, those vulnerable conversations, yet it's not. My self preservation kicks in just as strong. I grew up in a chaotic environment. Simple conflicts escalated into WWIII with yelling, screaming, threats to pack up and leave....offers to help the other pack...it was not a healthy marriage. There is a still a part of me that expects my husband to respond to conflicts the way my parents did. Now, his own patterns are not exactly helpful, he's a retreat and hide kind of guy. A, if I don't say anything then it'll go away kind of guy. It's been...challenging....lately.
No comments:
Post a Comment