Never underestimate the power of sleep. I've been a good, good girl this week. I've been in bed with lights out by 10:30 so that I can get up and function at 5:30 and be ready for Paulo to get up at 6:00 to get ready for school. Last night I had an auction meeting, a wrap up to our awesome auction that raise over 25K for our awesome school! I didn't get home until close to 10 which meant after puttering around with lunches and stuff I wasn't in bed until close to 11 which meant I was not ready to get up today at 5:30. I got up, I dragged my unwilling body out of bed, but I really, really did not want to! And now, now I just feel off. That's the best way to describe it, I feel off, out of sync, off kilter, out of balance, I'm tired. I wish a slight delay in slumber didn't throw me so far out of whack! Rene functions on less sleep than I do-I won't say he always functions well mind you, but he seems to require less sleep than I do. Sometimes I envy that. I would love to get closer to 8 hours but that would require I go to bed by 9:30 and frankly that's just not going to happen. So today I shall struggle through with slightly sleepy eyes and hope to reach the end of my day without biting anyones head off *keep your fingers crossed*!
I've been pondering a lot lately, I tend to do that, I'm a ponderer...is that a word? eh who cares!...I've been pondering my monkey. No, not the cute furry kind, the proverbial one. My monkey is two fold, I think the biggest baddest monkey I schlep around on my back though is sugar. Oh how I love sugar, I am constantly tempted by the sweet...white....processed...crap. I know it's crap, I know I don't need it, but man do I want it. Most of the time I can control that monkey, I can resist the doughnuts brought into my office because I remember that the last time I had one I had a migraine within 30 minutes, and felt like I needed to throw up. I can resist the candy bowl that resides five feet from my desk by reminding myself that I, like Pringles junkies everywhere, cannot eat just one. If I start and put one single piece of individually wrapped sugar into my mouth I will end the day with at least a dozen wrappers guiltily hidden in my garbage can. But the 2nd monkey makes the 1st monkey grow to King Kong size and I find myself standing in my pantry at night after my son is in bed stuffing marshmallows into my mouth-the big ones by the way, not the minis-then chasing those down with dried pineapple (at least I can somewhat placate my guilt on that one with the knowledge that it is indeed fruit and does not have any HFCS added, but still, dried fruit after marshmallows, who does that?!). I stopped myself from devouring the girl scout cookies because I was too embarrassed to be the one that opened the sleeve of thin mints. As long as they stay sealed shut they stay safe(ish). The 2nd monkey to which I refer is alcohol. I've made no secret of my struggles with that particular beast, I come from a long line of alcoholics and I can recognize my own addiction tendencies but sometimes, sometimes, I just do not care. One drink turns to two turns to three turns to a marshmallow and dried pineapple binge. Nice way to cap off the weekend, eh? Oh to be able to wave a magic wand and rid myself of my monkeys, my flaws, my weaknesses-that's what they feel like to me, weaknesses. I feel like I should be able to enjoy wine and sweets in moderation but man do I struggle with that word, moderation. I'm still so all or nothing, my inner pendulum swings wildly from one to the other. I seriously think this will be my challenge until the day I die. Trying to find balance, moderation, the middle ground-it is really hard for me in a lot of aspects of my life.
On other news, I decided to actually do the race I blogged about in January but opted to sign up for the 10K instead of the 5K! I've never done any race at all of any length and I jumped into the 10K. I'm nervous, it's about three weeks away, but I'm also excited. I've enjoyed the process of training and of feeling my body become stronger. A year ago I could barely manage two miles on the treadmill and last weekend I ran almost four, on the road. Crazy! This weekend I need to up that to at least 4.5 to start inching my way towards the 6.2 miles I will fun on April 3rd. It's for a great cause, Albertina Kerr, and I'm really looking forward to experiencing the energy and vibe that my dear triathlete friend SM talks about. I always wanted to be a runner but I never thought I could be, I guess I was wrong-not a bad thing to be wrong about!
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