Awkward pauses

A local basketball hero gave all Portland area parents an excellent starter to a very awkward conversation today. Apparently this young man, and he is barely old enough to drink, in a moment of poor judgement, or pure stupidity, decided to take a couple photos of himself and text them to his lady friend. Well, he really should be more careful in who he chooses to befriend since this "lady" released the photos to the media. Yes, Greg was neked. So, I got to have a sexting talk with my 14 year old. I'm sure he was mortified. It's not easy to discuss such things with a parent but I did feel like it opened the door.



It opened the door to talk about the basic idea of THINK before you act! Think about what you're doing. Think about the fact that these photos can come back to haunt you. Think before you post on facebook. I've told him that he needs to consider everything he posts on facebook to be there for eternity. Yes you can delete a risque photo or a stupid comment but just because you've erased it doesn't mean that someone, somewhere, hasn't snagged a screen shot or saved the photo to their computer. If you wouldn't want your mother seeing it...don't post it. If you wouldn't want your future college admissions counselor seeing it...don't post it! If you would be embarrassed if your future boss googled your name and the photo popped up...don't post it! To be honest, I am eternally grateful that I am not going through my teenage years in the height of the internet. I am quite sure there would be embarrassing pictures of me on there somewhere if facebook was the media giant then that it is today.



It also gave me an opportunity to talk about what we would expect from him if he were to receive such a photo. Do not forward it on! Don't do that to another human being! It gave me a chance to ask him why does he think a person would forward a sexually explicit photo. He's honest, to look cool. Yes, in that moment you might score some cool points but do you know that if you get caught doing that you could get busted for distribution of child porn? Do you really want to have to register as a sex offender? No, my son, those cool points are so not worth it!



These are ongoing conversations that all parents must have. If I don't tell him, explicitly, that I consider it unacceptable for him to forward a photo of a naked person he can interpret my silence as approval. And I do not approve. If I don't tell him, explicitly, that I expect him not to drink, not to take drugs, not to smoke, etc., then too he can assume my silence is approval. And I do not approve. I have always tried to answer his questions honestly and without judgement. I hope that we can keep the lines of communication open as he continues through high school. I know he's not going to confide in my all his inner secrets, but I hope he knows he can talk to me without me freaking out.

So I will soldier on through awkward conversations filled with painful pauses and embarrassed giggles-cause that's what I think good Mommas do!