Motherhood is one big game of good vs evil. I spend my time on guard ready to shoot down negative or frightening images, foul language and violence. Much like the Wonder Woman of my childhood I am constantly on the defensive, using my bracelets to deflect bullets!
Ack! The news is on and they're showing the destruction in Haiti, pew! pew! change the channel quick! Yikes!! Sexy Chick is playing....again...for the millionth time on the XM, pew! pew! switch stations! Whoa! It is a "family friendly" show but someone forgot to tell the advertising agency....and so on and so forth, day in and day out!
It's not that I don't have sympathy for Haiti, you'd have to be made of stone not to, in fact if I could I'd adopt three or four. It's just that if I, a 35 year old woman, am stunned and saddened so deeply by the images how will my 5 year old process them? If the pictures I see keep me up at night what will it do to Paulo? The Powerpuff Girls give him nightmares for goodness sake! And, who doesn't like a good hip hop song while sweating it out on the treadmill? But really, have you listened to the lyrics? Definitely not meant for my Kindergartner's ears. So, yes, I am fully engaged in the battle of good vs evil and I have a lot riding on my winning the battle and protecting my young. I am a Momma Bear. I am Wonder Mom, defender of my child's innocence!
Imagine my surprise, and horror, when I realized that I, in my haste and absent mindedness, endangered the well being of one of Paulo's classmates! In Paulo's class, as in millions of classes across the country, we are peanut free. We have a dear classmate that is very, very allergic to tree nuts. We all know this. We discussed it when school began. We get frequent reminders sent to the whole school by the director. I dutifully bought the sunbutter alternative so my kid would not have to go without PB&Js for the rest of his school career...well SB&J's really, but who's counting? So, what on Earth was I thinking when I popped a treat into my son's lunch box this morning and grabbed a mini Reese's Peanut Butter cup?! I realized it in the car after school. It hadn't fully registered when I saw my son get his treat out of his lunch box when I picked him up at Grandma's house and he told me he hadn't had time to eat it. I didn't question immediately why his dessert was wrapped in a paper towel and then sealed in a plastic bag (many thanks after the fact to our ever present and always aware teacher!). But as we were driving to the gym he mentioned his classmate's name and I gasped! Scared the heck out of him! In the instant I was flooded with awareness guilt, shame, self loathing...and more than a little irrational fear quickly followed. Would I be run out of the class? Would her Mother ever say hello to me again? Would Paulo be shunned because of my error? Of course the logical side of my brain kicked in, briefly, and reminded me that this was not the first time nor the last that an allergic child would be inadvertently exposed to a peanut treat but the guilt was terrible! In four months of lunch packing I had not slipped once! I even make him wash his face and hands if he has nutella at breakfast, in reality he needs to regardless he's a very messy eater, but I take extra care to get all traces of the potential life threatening spread off his face. I truly have no clue what occurred this morning, I suppose I can only call it a case of brainus interruptus. A temporary loss of sanity. A...well whatever it was, I am quite sure it won't happen again. Allergies are serious business and even something as innocent as an after lunch treat could cause harm...pew! pew! No more Reeses!!
Man, all the stuff you have to think about. Heck, you're only human, you might just forget *again*, but at least its the teachers job to be aware. Since its not your child with an allergy, its easily forgettable, but for your sanity, let's hope you don't forget ;)
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