Waging war in the urban jungle

Monday, January 25, 2010

Happiness

Webster defines "happiness" as good fortune, a state of well being & contentment and a pleasurable or satisfying experience. Seems simple enough. Yet it is so ellusive for so many. Why is that? I've personally struggled with the reality/fantasy conflict. In my fantasy world my marriage is filled with roses, gifts, wineing and dining...there's plenty of wine and dine in my reality but I'm the one buying the bottle and cooking the meal! In my fantasy world I am surrounded by a loving and affectionate family who settles down contentedly every holiday and at least once a month on top of that. My reality is that getting my side of the family together takes a lot of effort and planning. We're busy people! My fantasy is that my children are always neat, tidy and polite....reality-don't get me started! But really, is my reality bad? No! Not at all! I'm grateful for my family. I'm grateful for my marriage and most of all I'm grateful our health. We have been blessed with good fortune and should be appreciative. We also have to work at maintaining our happiness.



Children seem to have a naturally high happiness capacity. Yet the older they get the more they seem to lose that. They, like us, become obsessed with things. They become busier and busier with each passing year. I look at my 5 year old and see how joyful, loving and happy he is. Then I look at my sullen 14 year old and think....not so much. Yes some of it is simply his personae, bravado even, after all he's supposed to be grumpy, he's 14. But I worry sometimes that he's losing his capacity for happiness. There is so much stress and worry today for kids. Bad news everywhere you turn. Constant technology demands on their attention. Higher and higher expectations, pressure to excel at every little thing or you...will.....never....succeed! But you cannot be the best at everything and that simple truth can be so crippling for many.



I want to guard my children's happiness. They deserve it. They deserve happy, carefree, childhood memories. How to do that though? We have to show them how to appreciate what they have by doing that ourselves. It really isn't about how big the TV is or how many songs your IPOD will hold. We have such abundance today but so little happiness. We have to talk about happiness with our children. I ask Paulo if he's happy, I'm always thrilled to hear his Yes! We need to share with them when we are happy and why. We have a great capacity for love and joy but we've gotten away from it. I know I have. I get caught up in the day to day grind, the competition for bigger, better, brighter and faster. When that happens I feel my soul wasting away. I have to stop and remind myself off all the things I have to be happy for.

  1. Quiet mornings alone with a good book
  2. Big bear hugs from little boys
  3. Beautiful sunrises
  4. Surprise kisses
  5. Hard work outs
  6. Solving soduku puzzles
  7. Clean houses
  8. Good friends
  9. Fine wine
  10. CHOCOLATE

Be happy my friends we are worth it.

4 comments:

  1. Very true. I so needed to read this today. I think if we were all to make a list of what makes us "unhappy" compared to what makes us happy, we'd realize how silly out "unhappiness" really is.

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  2. I read that happiness is a fleeting state of being. That often true feelings of happiness are not the constant but rather being content. I think some people are either the "glass half full" or "glass half empty" kind. You see thse rich kids (like Casey Johnson) dying young. They have all of the money in the world but they were not happy. Paulo will be happy. He comes from love and he comes from you. His life is filled with goodness from the get go. The little things, times spent with family all add up to one big happiness. Dimitri does not have exactly what Paulo has because he comes from a different situation with a mom who is very different. His sullen nature may be from that. But you add to his happiness because you know it is worth it. To be truly happy is to have love...not anything external (or electronic!).

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  3. Interesting post. I strive for "content". Happiness is a fleeting emotion for me (as is sadness)...if I an be content most of my days, then I consider myself very lucky.

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  4. Wow, this was provoking. A lot to consider and think about with defining yourself's happiness quotient factor. I think we can channel positive energy and influence what occurs around us, in our family and our childrens' behaviors by trying to keep that glass "half full". Good post my friend, good post.

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