Do over, please!

I'd like a do over. Only of the last 10 minutes before we left the house this morning. But still, I'd really appreciate a do over.

I hyper focus. This morning my focus was on helping Dimitri prepare for his history test. He's really struggling with his tests. He does good on class work but then he bombs the tests. I....love....History. I wanted to be a history teacher. So I'm doing what I had to do last year, about this same time, and that is read his book with him and discuss what he's learning. He's a "doer" he's a hands on learner. How do you "do" history? You can't really. But you can discuss. So this morning over waffles and eggs we discussed Industrialization, Capitalism, Socialism, Reform and all that goes with it during the period of the Industrial Revolution. It was going well to be honest.

Then I looked at the clock....and it was 7:40. We need to be in the car and backing out of the driveway no later than 7:35 so I can get Dimitri to his school by 8:05. Did I mention they hadn't brushed their teeth yet? I went from teacher to shrew in .01 seconds! Go brush your teeth! Get on your shoes!! Get your stuff!!! AAAAAH PANIC!!!!

I have issues with being tardy. I cannot stand to get my children to school late. But really, I should be able to keep control of myself! I even snapped at my poor 5 year old because I came in to find him with one shoe on and one off just sitting there. I snapped at him as I tied his shoes, only to find out later that he was sitting there with one shoe on and one shoe off because he was trying to figure out how to tie his own shoe laces.....yeah, I really need to teach that boy to tie his shoes. It's been on the list for months but then he got some new Sketchers with Velcro and well, it didn't matter much after that. But yesterday his class walked to "the Beach" by his school and his shoes are not fit for human use right now. So, needless to say, when he told me what he was doing I felt like shit. You know those old Tom and Jerry cartoons where Tom's head turns into a heel or an ass? Yeah, that was me, I was an ass head driving down the street this morning. I did apologize for losing my patience. But I'm still mad, at myself. I also took the opportunity to remind him that our love for each other doesn't change even when we make mistakes, like Mommy's mistake this morning in losing her patience. And when he makes mistakes my love doesn't change either. I'm fortunate that he bounces back quickly and is a very forgiving and loving child. I hope I can learn to be as forgiving of myself as he is of me.

We'd all calmed down after that 10 minute frenzy and Dimitri and I were able to continue our discussion of History, poor Paulo, he was bored out of his mind I'm sure-in fact he told me that all the talk of History made his stomach hurt. I sent Dimitri off to do battle with some words of encouragement and drove off with Paulo....and Dimitri's history book. Sigh....took Paulo to school and then went back to Dimitri's high school to leave the book-and some written words of encouragement-in the office. He has study hall this morning and he needs that book. Unfortunately I had tossed it in the back seat of the car and then covered it with crap so when he got out at school neither of us saw it. So by the time I rolled into work at 8:45 I felt like I'd already put in a full day of labor, in the mines or the factories of 1850 Britain. I'm so glad it's Friday, we all need this weekend. It's been a stressful week (which in hindsight likely played a role in my reaction this morning) and I'm so happy to have reached the end of it.