Dimitri hears a lot that he could do so much better in school, he has the potential to be great. To be honest, I truly believe he is exceptionally smart. His academic struggles are not intelligence based but more organizational issues. But, when he hears that from me or his Mom or his Dad what does that feel like?
By focusing on what how he could be doing are we somehow negating or demeaning the great person that stands before us? Does he think he is worth less for not acing a test? Does he think we value him less if he gets a D -vs- an A? Do I want to see the A's on the tests? Of course. I do. Every parent wants to see their child succeed. Do I love him less if it's a D? No, I don't.
How do we simultaneously encourage him to higher and aim for greatness while accepting, celebrating and appreciating the young man he is becoming?
It's a tight rope to walk to be honest. I want my children to reach for the stars, I want them to succeed, I also want them to love and appreciate themselves for who they are-flaws and all. It is our flaws that make us interesting. I don't want them to think that their value is based on what their GPA is or what their far off future salary is. I want them to appreciate who they are right now, in this moment, and not think....when I *insert future goal here* THEN I'll be happy. Be happy now! Enjoy this moment! Live this life for today! Go to school, embrace learning, not because you need good grades to get into college but because learning is, in an of itself, worthwhile. You are a better person for having learned something new today. Each and every day offers a new opportunity for growth. Embrace that opportunity. Today you are worthwhile. Today you are loved. Today you are appreciated. Not because of what you could do but because of who you are.
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