Paulo has a big day today and I'm a little nervous. My poor baby has been plagued by ear infections in the last few years. Didn't have his first one until he was a year old, and got a double whammy then, didn't have too many in the year or so that followed but lately, probably since 3 years, it's been rough. Since Valentine's Day he's had three all in the same ear, two of which have ruptured! That's just too much! It's painful and I do not like giving him round after round of antibiotics.
I know that his horrible allergies are a factor. We're working on those as best as we can. He gets a lot of extra vitamins, we neti pot, he takes daily meds, I clean his room obsessively....the one thing I really wish I could do? Hardwood floors in his bedroom. I hate the carpet. Never thought I'd say that, but having a child with severe allergies makes me loathe carpeting. You just cannot get it clean enough. We are also having more food allergy testing done. Our naturapath thought it odd that with all his environmental allergies nothing showed up for food allergies on the blood test his pediatrician ordered last February. So, she ordered one that tests for over 95 different allergens. That's on Friday, fortunately he's really good about shots and needles. The last time he had a blood draw done he watched, wide eyed, through the process, didn't make a single sound. Part of me hopes that they do find something because then, I can do something about it. If there's a food that his body can't handle I can remove that food. I cannot go out and chop down all the trees or burn all the grass he's allergic to. I suppose that's why I'm obsessive about his room, I can do something about dust. I can vacuum. I can wash his bedding weekly. I could, and did, buy him a new mattress. There's something I can do there, I don't feel helpless. With the pollens, I'm helpless, and I don't do well with being helpless.
But back to today. Last week I took him back to the ENT that removed his tonsils and adenoids when he was 3, Dr. Lewis. The very nice Doc checked him out, tested his hearing, talked with me and agreed that 3 EIs in 4 months is just not reasonable. The first word out of his mouth on why though was allergies. So, yes, we may be chasing our tails here. To be sure though Dr. Lewis ordered a CAT scan of his melon. He wants to see what is going on in his sinuses and ear tubes. Today's the big day. Paulo has had this done before, when he was 3, which he may actually remember-the boy has a freakishly good memory. The scan then showed that his adenoids blocked his airway when he laid on his back, which explained the apnea that scared the crap out of me when he was a toddler. Today, I'm not sure what it will show us-which is frightening for me. I tend to go to a dark and scary place with my fears about the health and well being of my son. I start thinking bad thoughts. I do not share these dark, scary thoughts with anyone mind you, but they're there, in my brain, taunting me.
For today though I put on my happy face and tell my son that nothing will ever hurt him, because Mommy will always be there to protect him. And he looks at me and smiles, reassured, he doesn't need to bear the fear, that's my job, I'm the Momma.
No comments:
Post a Comment