Waging war in the urban jungle

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Analyze this!

Paulo's sleep the last three nights has been disrupted by bad dreams. Last night was particularly rough. Best as I can tell his first was around midnight, he dreamt he was a baby and that Rene, Dimitri and I left him at home alone and went to the airport. We realized we forgot him then and while we felt badly did not return for him. He said because he was a baby he couldn't even talk. Then he had to walk (crawl) to his Grandma's house. He woke up very upset and crying and was calling for me. I was asleep, did not hear him at all, and Rene decided to run interference. Paulo is not accustomed to being comforted by his father in the middle of the night and was not pleased to see Dad. He asked me this morning where I was and why I didn't come when he called....ugh, shot through the heart! I felt terrible! I know, logically, it's ok if his father comforts him after a nightmare but in my heart, it just isn't. Paulo is my baby, the center of my universe, and he was hurting last night and I was asleep! Extra snuggles tonight!! When he told me about his dream this morning he got teary again and I held him on my lap and snuggled him. Reassuring him that it would never, ever, ever happen! His family would not abandon him and go off on vacation without him! I told him I could understand why that dream was so bad and how frustrated he must have been to not be able to communicate. This is the second time the theme of abandonment and vulnerability has surfaced in his dreams, at least the second time I know about.

His second nightmare last night was a short one. In it the moon turned brown and exploded. I woke up at 4 am to find he had snuck in my bed. Being the smart boy he is he didn't make a peep this time, I'm sure he didn't want to risk his father waking and taking him back to his room. I have no idea when he came to my bed, normally I am somewhat aware. I asked him this morning and he giggled and told me that I had moved over for him! Yes, I am quite sure I did! But really? The moon exploded? What the heck is that about?! The first one I can somewhat get, maybe he's worried about being left out? Resents that Dimitri had so many years as just the three of us? Feels excluded because Dimitri's older and gets to do big kid stuff? But the moon exploded?? Huh?? That one is a mystery to me. He's never seen any sort of doomsday movie or read anything remotely related to the end of the world or supernovas, we don't watch the Discovery channel with him all that often. So I'm confused really, where that dream comes from. Any takers on dream analysis??

I don't recall being plagued by nightmares as a child. I do remember a story of how I had at least one episode of sleep walking. Apparently I walked through the living room to the front door, opened and closed it, then walked back to bed. But my boy has struggled with nightmares and night terrors for years. It's exhausting for him and for me. I feel bad for him. It's a vicious cycle, the worse he sleeps the more likely he is to have bad dreams. He's been doing well lately and actually sleeping all night-which was fabulous for a Momma that had not had a full night of sleep in nearly 6 years! I just hope we can get through this patch of nightmares quickly and return to his restful sleep. In the meantime I will sleep with one ear open tonight in case my baby needs me.

1 comment:

  1. This is a lot of nightmares for anyone, especially a child. It is disrupting his sleep big time. Have you considered having him talk to a therapist? What might be triggering these? And don't you worry about not going in there one night. You are there for P all of the time and really Rene needs to get in some bonding time w/ his little guy. I think that is equally important. Paulo cannot rely solely on you and you cannot always be there for him for everything. Just not possible. You both need full nights' sleep very soon and on most nights barring a cold. Thinking of you both.

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