Day 14

Day 14...really? I made it! I did the full two weeks, and then some. I feel really pleased about this. I set a goal and I achieved it. It was not always easy, but I did it. Me. All by myself.

What has this experience taught me?

• I do not need to eat meat everyday. In fact I could easily go vegetarian, just not vegan-I love cheese too much. And butter..oh and honey...and ice cream.
• I don't need eggs every morning, a smoothie actually does fill me up just fine.
• Buying organic is EXPENSIVE! I really wish there was a way around this one, short of moving to a farm and growing everything myself. My grocery budget has shot up a lot over the last couple months as I've switched us to organic meat and been more strict about getting free range organic eggs and organic milk. On that note, is there a difference between "organic" milk and milk that is labeled as hormone free? I'm assuming there is to justify the price difference. If anyone knows for sure, chime in.
• I enjoy a drink but I do not like to be drunk, there is a huge difference. Feeling drunk makes me uncomfortable because of the loss of control-yes I am a control freak.
• My libido is better when I'm sober.
• Processing alcohol out of my system takes a lot of physical and emotional energy leaving me deflated and unable to give to my family.
• I'm going to do some sort of cleanse every month on week three of my cycle which is my crazy time. I'm thinking juice cleanse in April. Should be good, tax time is coming which is highly stressful for me so if I get my diet very controlled and pure I will hopefully weather that stress better.
• I'm the only one responsible for what I put in my body.

That last one is a big one for me. I, in the past, have used other peoples glasses as a gauge of what should be in mine. Then, quite naturally, when my lower tolerance catches up to me and their higher tolerance keeps them going I felt compelled to keep up-with sometimes disastrous results. But I have to remember, my body, my choice. While someone can offer another drink I am not obligated to accept it. While someone can offer me a huge slab of chocolate cake, I don't actually have to eat it. Nor do I have to eat nasty fast food every Friday. It's ok for me to bring my own healthy lunch even though our shop buys lunch for our employees every Friday. If we're buying good pizza from Lucky Lab or pasta from Noodles then I'm in, but Taco Bell? No thanks, I'll bring quinoa and veggies.

Honestly I think this last two weeks has been as beneficial as my months in therapy was. I feel stronger. I doubt that Rene understands why I needed to do it, and I'm sure he's curious to see what the long term effects are-or if I'll slip back into my old routine. But I feel good. And as a total bonus I've lost about 8 pounds, and that's with barely getting to the gym because of Paulo getting sick. Back a few years ago we were planning a family trip to Guadalajara and I did the whole low carb diet and worked out a lot. I weigh less now after two weeks of detox dieting than I did after a month of low carb and time at the gym. And my insides feel much, much better too.

Moving forward I am going to invest in a juicer for sure. I'm eyeballing a couple of different models. I will be incorporating more vegetarian nights-Rene can't complain because he doesn't cook. You don't cook, you don't complain about what I cook, that's the rule in my house! He's such a carnivore though. Paulo? He could be a vegetarian, he's not big on meat, it's rare for him to finish the small portion of meat I put on his plate. Rene though is a total carnivore. I will be more mindful about what is in my cup, be it coffee, wine or soda. I haven't had a soda in well over two weeks and that is one thing I do not miss, yesterdays stress out not withstanding....it will still be there as a craving in times of stress but I remember how the Diet Coke made my stomach feel and really it's not pleasant. Why do we continue to eat and drink things that make us feel sick?! We are a silly species. I will be more mindful in general. Mindful of my limitations. Mindful to take time for myself, be it in the form of a hot bath or an hour away on a weekend. I will *try* to remember to ask for help when I need it, I suck at that one. I will be kinder to myself so that I can be kind to my family. Feel free to remind me about that last one friends!